Love-me-not
by Lunadora
Summary: What would you do if you loved someone so much that this love would hurt you instead of bringing you happiness? This fanfic brings a bit of my own feelings towards a special someone portrayed in Alisa, the sweet and lovely nun from Harvest Moon series. Come join her as she learn about love and how bittersweet it can be.


There is a man that I loved deeply but that didn't appreciate my love. This fanfic was written with him in mind. Hope you guys enjoy it.

* * *

><p>What if you loved someone so much that this love would hurt you instead of bringing you happiness? Alisa was a common girl, living in the countryside of a peaceful country. Life was always the same, everyday repeating itself like a movie. She would wake up early to go to school, a very renowned female college around the area. Lots of girls from other towns would come to study there because of its good reputation. It was in this place that Alisa fell in love for the first time.<p>

"Good morning teacher!"  
>"Good morning girls!"<br>The young girls left giggling, happy for getting a good morning from their favourite teacher. Truth is that said teacher was the only male around and, to help with his fame, he was pretty young himself. And married. With a woman that loved him deeply. But most of the girls didn't mind it at all.  
>"It is our youth, let us be happy and love whoever we want!"<br>Alisa wasn't that different from them. But she was too shy to even look him in the eye. All she'd look at would be his back when they crossed ways on the corridors. He wasn't too tall, not too strong, but his smile could light a whole soccer field. That's what the girls would say. And when the girls gathered to talk about boys the teacher would always be mentioned.  
>"I finally got a boyfriend," one of them said, getting all proud of herself with the other girls sighs and questions about him. "But I won't quit liking him. He's too handsome for me to quit it just 'cause I have a boyfriend now."<br>The girls that were listening giggled for a moment before getting quiet as the bell rang, announcing the next class.  
>"It's his turn, isn't it?"<br>"Yup."  
>And the whole class got quiet.<p>

A girl was standing beside his car, her face was blushing while she looked to her feet.  
>"I love you!" She blurted out.<br>She ended up saying it louder than she wanted, so taking the chance while her courage was gathered she looked up to him, noticing the fear in his eyes before kissing him and running away like a thief abandoning the crime scene. The teacher was stunned for a moment until he realized what happened. Looking around himself to see if there was any witnesses he saw, behind the bushes, a pair of blue eyes rounded by red hair. Alisa was as surprised as her teacher and ran away as fast as she could when she noticed she was seen, feeling like she had seen something she should not.

"I need to explain myself!" He asked insistently while holding her arm.  
>"I saw nothing, I heard nothing and you don't need to explain anything to me sir. Please, let me go," she pleaded.<br>Alisa knew what would happen if anyone else saw her in that kind of situation. Ever since she saw the other girl's confession her dearest teacher would follow her around, trying to explain what happened, while she would insistently run away from him, afraid. She wasn't a very good runner and had low stamina which helped the teacher to get a hold of her after chasing her around the corridors. He didn't call her since he was chasing after a student but he felt like he needed to explain. And he felt bad for seeing her flushed and breathless. She, on the other hand, couldn't say if her heart was beating fast because he was holding her arm of because of all the running. Fact was: he was standing there, wanting to tell her something she didn't need nor wanted to know. Even so, she allowed herself to listen to him.  
>"It was an accident, I didn't think she would try to kiss me. Please, don't tell anyone about it, I'm just a newbie, it would be a problem if this kind of information leaked."<br>"Don't worry," she allowed herself to cut his speech. "I won't tell anything to anybody."  
>"I'm glad," he sighed in relief, and his smile was really like a source of light. A light so bright that it blinded Alisa to the fact that they were being seen by other girls from a distance.<p>

She left her guard off for a second and that was enough for trouble to jump in on her life. She was never a talkative girl but she never had troubles to communicate with her classmates. However rumors spread quickly, even more in a female school. Before she knew it, she had become a target.  
>"That's the girl, isn't it?"<br>"It is her, I'm sure."  
>Alisa would listen to people whispering around her but she couldn't understand what they were saying. Until a group of girls purposely bumped on her and dropped her books, without looking back or even bothering to help her to gather them. It wasn't rare that other girls that were passing by would step on her books while they were on the ground. Her desk would always have scribbles and she tried very hard to clean them, afraid that if a teacher would see it they'd think she was the one who made it. Time passed and she started to lose the willingness to go to school. She only did because her mother insisted.<br>"You need to study, dear. It's important for your future!"

It was through a lot of hardships that Alisa managed to get to the end of that semester. Her teacher didn't seem as special as before since he did notice she was having troubles but didn't move a finger to help her. With no friends and no regrets, Alisa decided to move to another school.  
>"A mixed one?" Her mother asked, surprised. "I thought you liked this one. You tried so hard to get in!"<br>"Please mother," was all that Alisa could say.  
>Her mother wasn't too demanding so she agreed. The new semester came and Alisa had to take a bus to go to her new school, in the neighboor town, but she didn't mind it. What she did mind was the massive presence of boys all around. Her red hair and her shy personality made her an easy target to bullying. It was amidst this hell that she found her new love. A guy her own age. That had a girlfriend.<br>She didn't know that he had a girlfriend when she first met him. People told her later on that the girl was older than him and was already in the university so they didn't see each other that often. Alisa even thought if she should put some distance between them but in the end she couldn't do it. She caught herself thinking more than once why she liked him so much, without really having a definitive answer. He wasn't the most handsome of the guys in the school, his grades were on the average and he wasn't too good in sports. He wasn't too talkative, just like her, but he was kind to everyone. She felt even more attracted to him when he would protect her against the bullying. Whenever someone called her by a nickname, he'd scold them.  
>"Her name is Alisa!" He'd say with a serious face.<br>The other boys teased him but he didn't care. Neither Alisa. She started to think that, if he was by her side, she could continue having her small happiness. With things as they were she really started to believe that the girlfriend was only a story told by someone to keep the other girls away from him. Like it was some lie made up to keep him from other girls.  
><em>"Only makes me want to get even closer to him,"<em> she thought.  
>And on the last year of her studies Alisa got really close to him. So close that she was scared when an older girl showed up. Her hair was red jus like Alisa's but her body was that of a woman and she was dressed in graceful clothes. Very different from the uniform that Alisa had to use.<br>"What's your name, girl?" She asked.  
>"Alisa," she replied sheepishly.<br>"Good, you're the one I'm looking for," the other said with a small smile. "You know Alisa, I've been hearing rumors. And I am not really liking them. Can you imagine what kind of rumors?"  
>Alisa shook her head in a no and the other girl's smile disappeared, her voice's tune changing.<br>"People have told me that you've been flirting with my boyfriend."  
>The other girl didn't need to say anything more. Alisa's heart stopped for a second, her hands started to sweat and her body started to shake.<br>_"This is the girlfriend. It was real after all,"_ she thought, her heart being torn to pieces as she realized that.  
>Alisa waited for the girl to stop talking to explain things, lying about her feelings. It wasn't like she was planning to confess to him. It was her own feelings and she thought she'd be able to deal with them by herself without bothering anyone.<br>"He's only my friend," she finally said. "Only a friend."  
>"Oh really?" The girl asked, facing Alisa for a second before giving a wicked smile. "Of course. He wouldn't replace me for someone like you."<br>Alisa thought she was already used to the bullying. But on that moment the pain she felt was worse than any nicknames or evil doings that he had gone through. She slowly started to shy away from people. Finished her studies just like her mother wanted her to and decided she'd lock herself in an abbey. The chances of being hurt by love in a place like that were null, was what she thought, and there would be a lot more of older people, so things would run smoothly.  
>"Men are evil. I need to keep my distance from them," was what she decided.<p> 


End file.
